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PEOPLES STORY'S Post
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Story's
My
Story
I never thought I would ever have to
write my last goodbye to you in this way,
you were gone so sudden buddy. Taken so
quickly from us. Sixteen years you were
on this earth with us.
I watched my little brother grow up from
a wee guy with a whole bunch of cuteness
and cheekiness, into a young man with a
heart of gold. You would have done anything
for anyone, if it meant they had a smile
on their face. It hasn’t sunk in yet that
you're not here anymore..
No longer coming down the stairs, or
jumping out from places to scare the life
out of me. I feel like imp still waiting
on you coming through the front door.. waiting
for you to come back and hug me, and tell
me everything’s okay. But things aren't
okay without you, you were gone in an instant,
and in that instant our lives were changed
completely. I tried to bring myself to come
and see you, the night you passed away..
but I couldn’t. It wasn't the way I was
supposed to see you, I didn't want to see
it, cause then it meant it had to be true.
Even when I saw you, lying in your coffin,
that we had carefully picked out for you,
I didn't want to believe it was you,
I convinced myself there was a mistake,
that it wasn’t my Jay. You didn't look like
yourself. I was waiting on you waking up
and smiling at me.. and saying... got ya!
Jus like we'd always pull pranks on each
other. You had the last laugh this time.
I would give anything to have you back here..
I've been asking God to take me, and bring
you back. But I really know what Big G means
when he says that he "works in mysterious
ways.." Far more than I can ever understand.
I'm waffling Jay.. as always.. but its because
my mind is racing, I don't want this to
be the final goodbye.. we will chat again,
even if it is through God, we will laugh
again, smile again..but right now a smile
is the hardest thing, because you're not
here smiling with me. Remember how everyone
used to refer to us as Sami and Jay.. had
a little rhyme to it, well there’s no Jay
part anymore, and that sucks. Things shouldn’t
have ended this way.
I wanted to grow old with you, see your
wrinkles...your grey hair.. laugh with each
other as we sat in our wee rocking chair,
talking about the gd ole days.. there’s
never gona be any little baby jay's running
around..oh buddy, there’s so many nevers,
and what if's, and why's..so many questions..
very little we have to answer. Do you know
that I love you? So much, I know we fought
sometimes, but fighting with ur little brother
is compulsory, right? that’s what we told
mum anyways..
Jay, as I whisper "goodbye.."
just for now, know that its only for a while.
God needs me here for a while longer, to
take care of our family, to tell people
that they shouldn't suffer in silence..
buddy. If its the last thing I do, Suicide,
will be talked about, discussed, people
need to know that it has to stop now. No-one
deserves the pain you felt, or the
pieces we have to pick up. God needs me
here to do his work, tell him I say he’s
gotta spoil you rotten, big sisters orders
. I'll see you soon, not sure when, but
I’m here for a while yet buddy.. taking
care of what you left behind. Know that,
I love you so much, and wish that things
could have been different. God works in
strange old ways, I tell ya! Take Care baby
boy,
Sami
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